I desire Cola.
My fear is that God doesn’t think I need Cola.
However, God wants to know what my desire is? And He wants to give me my heart’s desire. (word & ps37v4)
On the other hand, He wants me to submit my will to His.
Maybe He will give me my hearts desire, in a while, meaning I have to be patient.
Patience is hard for me, because in the mean time, I don’t know wether I’m right.
And I want to be right because I don’t want to live in an illusion.
Another reason why I want to be right, is because I don’t want to disappoint God by following a wrong path.
Am I following a wrong path?
Don’t I believe God will prevent me from taking a wrong turn?
Haven’t I told Him to guide me on my way?
Or do I think God will voluntarily let me go the wrong way and not warn me?
Is that possible?
By going on a wrong path?
Or is my fear not to disappoint God, but that I am wrong.
Of course being wrong hurts the ego.
Is that it?
Am I afraid to discover my ego is / I am, wrong and not so perfect and pure after all?
Am I afraid of my own integrity?
Could it be?
Didn’t I accept Jesus as my Savior because I’ve already realized I am not so perfect.
Because of Jesus and in Him, I am perfect.
Because I gave my life to Him and put it in His hands, He guides me on the right way.
Out of these things I need to conclude I have to be patient.
In me there is a potential, which God has given me.
God won’t ask me in the end why I wasn’t Moses.
However, He’ll ask me why I wasn’t ‘Hendrik’.
God has put in me everything so I can be Hendrik.
I can’t say to God: “I wanted to, but I missed…”
God has given me all I need.
I’m a seed and God adds the nutrition at the right time.
He is a perfect gardener. He knows what is needed and when.
There is a time for everything.
You don’t add everything at once.
This means I need to be patient till God adds the useful nutrition.
Will a gardener listen to a plant who claims he needs water, when He knows it’s absolutely not necessary yet?
Maybe the plant desires Cola when it’s not time yet.
The plant knows how good Cola tastes, because he has already had some.
However it could be Cola is not good at all times, but will be good in a certain stage.
Of course the example of Cola and plants is absurd, but I need to remember what I want and why I don’t have it yet & I’ll admit and be honest: I like Cola and I desire it.
I conclude that though I know Cola is delicious, I don’t know when it is the best time to have it.
I was just thinking how much I long for Cola.
I love Cola and would want nothing else.
God wants to be loved in the same way!
He wants that we long for Him.
As a deer pattens for water…
As a young man desires Cola…
Lord, may I love you as much as I love Cola.
Light the fire again!
Add Spirit to the fire.
Hoe weet jij wat Gods verlangen voor jouw leven is?